I am regular FML reader. FML can keep me entertained for much longer than it should. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I encourage you to do so.
I decided to search FML posts using the term “bike.” The result? 104 hits. I curled up on the couch, grabbed some tea, and went to town. I decided to share my top 10 favorites with you all. I chose these because they made me laugh and/or because I sympathized with the original poster.
Top Ten FML Posts About Bikes
Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML #19375581
Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML #13277299
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like “Bike twat”, “Pig on wheels”, “That’s a girl’s bike you muppet” and “Go on wanker, do a wheelie.” FML #17607153
Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a “stupid f**ker who should get a proper education.” In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren’t wearing seat belts. FML #15661688
Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML #15844059
Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn’t riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML #17428177
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML #4486771
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML #2501660
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and mybike is in two pieces. FML #2925389